Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
