i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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