I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My breasts were aching with rage.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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