Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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