I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize