well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
