nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
