By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
