So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize