I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
