my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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