im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
