Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
