Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
