That's when you crack a 10am beer
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize