I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
