yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
