I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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