new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
