This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
