Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
