if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
