Me too!
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
