Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
