i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
