is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
