fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
