Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize