The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
