She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
