I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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