Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
