after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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