We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
