So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The uberlube is also flammable
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
