Are we in a gay sports bar?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
