i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
