i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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