so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize