id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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