What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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