if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
