Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
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