I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
im six kinds of drunk right now
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
