im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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