We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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