You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
