I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
