2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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