college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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