oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
