i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
