Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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