It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
