What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
