like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
