Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
