Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
my being single is dangerous.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
