i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
