We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
