Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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