I wanna bring you to show and tell
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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