Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
